Get this poonchy cat an agent at a speakers bureau! Stat!
Dammit if I don’t hate sports figures who try to act like business leaders.
From Lou Holtz to Kurt Warner, I am offended when anyone pays these chumps $50,000/speech to try to ‘motivate’ me to do better.
My poonchy cat, Emma, has plenty of skills. She’s never run a business or managed a P&L. She chases bugs and plays small forward on the Ruettimann kitty basketball team in our basement. Where is her closing keynote speech at a sales convention in Palm Springs?
I’m just sick of the Mike Ditkas and the Dan Dierdorfs who want to tell me how to run my business. You want to motivate me to achieve my personal best, Sporty Spice? Pay me $50K plus travel & expenses and fly me — first class — to Las Vegas.
Suddenly I am motivated, yo.
What’s worse is people with family money who want to motivate me to work hard on their behalf.
Case in point? This picture I took at the NASCAR Hall of Fame. It’s a quote from some guy who owned a NASCAR team.
Here. Let me push my worries about my mortgage, my undereducated kids, my lack of health insurance, and the decaying infrastructure in my neighborhood out of my mind so that you can live out your boyhood dream and pay some poor kid from the South to race a car and win a trophy on your behalf.
Perfect. Now I’m motivated.
32 comments ...wanna add one?
Right on, Laurie. I have bridled for years at ridiculously over-paid sports figures drawing useless analogies to business. Now the one time I heard a commander of a Navy destroyer do the same thing at the HR Technology Conference, it resonated. His “team” was a little more complicated. Perhaps if their job was to kill people, instead of merely injure them, the sports stars might be a little more on point.
I’m surprised you didn’t book Dan Hampton since we’re gonna be in Chicago.
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-31751_162-20015657-10391697.html
There will always be that fringe element of society who chooses compensation as their number one motivator on employee satisfaction surveys instead of the expected “relationship with my supervisor” – to the bafflement of all HR VIP’s.
I like how sports figures are always dedicated to the team — but they have agents and will walk for a better contract. Hm.
How about business leaders turned sports figures? Like, Mark Cuban? Oh, and my kitty Rondo plays a mean point guard with the feather-on-a-string game. He’s got talent, that kid.
I’m waiting for the Mavs to win a championship and then I’ll blog about Cuban.
Also, my Jake is also a great point guard for our feather-on-a-stick game. Maybe our leagues can merge?
Well said! That NASCAR sign ticked me off. If I’m going to push any team to victory, it’s going to be the one that lives under my roof. They’re my first priority. They’re the reason why I work under your roof in the first place, Ricky Bobby. Think about it.
Although I will say that Talledega Nights is one of my favorite movies ever.
Your post was right on the money! My idolization of sports figures ended many years ago. I often found it difficult to listen to someone on the subject of motivation when they have not walked in my shoes.
The sports figure of today gets paid ungodly amounts of money, knows nothing about going to actually look for a job that demands they produce daily plus raise a family and take care of the mortgage. I have never been inspired by these individuals nor do I care what they have to say. In the end they play games for a living!
I know many of these sports figures come from nothing — but for every Michael Jordon and Magic Johnson, there is someone who can’t build an empire and still wants to lecture me on motivation. Barf.
Hold on just one minute there – Emma is clearly power forward material, in the mold of Charles Barkley.
Yesterday I was sitting in a Borders store soaking up some free Wifi and happened to be in the sports section. I actually took a picture of some of the numerous motivation and leadership books penned by great minds like Coach Lou, Drew Brees, and Pete Carroll.
I think the vanity book contract must be a part of some of these dudes comp packages, otherwise I can’t understand how so many of them get published.
You’re right. She’s solid in the tummy — and she has a bad golf swing. Very Charles Barkley.
I want to hear a sports guy tell me ‘how I fucked everything up, cheated on my wives AND my girlfriends, spent all my money on cars, and have nothing to show for it.’
Oh wait, I heard that story from Michael Vick. Now THAT motivates me.
Just look at Antoine Walker and Latrell Sprewell
Anyone who has played sports knows that solid teamwork is essential to winning. In the “real world”, I have yet to work in an environment where it wasn’t “every man for themselves”.
Americans just love getting smoke blown up thier ass by C-list celebrities— sports related or otherwise.
I’ve never played sports. #fact
I have to admit, the sign did tick me off also….and I hate the movie Talladega Nights. But I do believe there is “teamwork” in the real working world these days, why else would I give my best everyday. Do I believe that my boss does take credit for things I do, absolutely. But I also know that I accomplished my best everyday and that’s what matters to me, that’s what motivates me. Money does motivate me, but there are so many other things that motivate me also. I’ve played many sports in my lifetime and I believe strongly in teamwork, but being motivated by pro athletes has never crossed my mind. I used to idolize them when I played the sport, but now….they are just rich a**holes who have too much money and no morals. I have no interest in what they have to say unless it’s regarding the sport they play.
I like it when athletes branch out. I’m impressed when they truly care about a cause. They champion an idea. That’s cool. Everyone should get more involved in the world. But I’m with you — most of these guys are rich assholes.
I have to admit that most of these guys / gals do nothing to motivate me. I am more motivated by someone who took a chance on themselves and made it big. For example, Jerome Lippman, he worked in a tire factory and had the idea to develop a soap that could be used with or without water, thus, GOJO. Eventually he was able to leave his factory job.
I don’t relate to most sports figures. Sure Tiger and I love Vegas but for different reasons. Vick has dogs, I love dogs and he really doesn’t. Maybe Jim Kelly has a motivational story in how he gave up his career early to spend time with his dying son and later developed a very successful charitable organization to benefit other children and families in that situation. When Kelly was inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 2002, he dedicated his speech to Hunter. “It’s been written that the trademark of my career was toughness,” said Kelly, as he choked back tears. “The toughest person I ever met in my life was my hero, my soldier, my son, Hunter. I love you, buddy.” I admire him as a philanthropist and a father way more than what he did on the gridiron. He really had/has his values.
I too have come to hate most sports analogies in business. I don’t want to do “basic blocking and tackling” or even “swing for the fence;” I want to do the best I can and learn something along the way and hopefully help the people around me be successful too. If we are going to run a business like a sport I think it should be hockey. If you feel up one of your coworkers or decide to be the office bully we have a very big guy who is a trained fighter that will gladly take a suspension to beat the tar out of you. At a minimum, the rest of the team will slam you off the walls. Okay that probably is not a great idea but…..
Dwood, this is so perfectly articulated. Sometimes I read the comments from my readers and I’m blown away by the strong writing and smart thinking behind the words. Thank you.
You know I love using sports analogies and HR, but I never use athletes as examples since they’re great “sales” people, but don’t know how to transfer that into the real world. The only sports people who can pull that off are former UCLA players who played under Coach John Wooden and tell us about Wooden’s pyramid.
If you want to use sports analogies in HR, I would look into general managers since they hire the coach and have their own philosophy on how to approach the sport (business). @DWood92 is right that you should follow hockey not only for the sport, but how transparent the GMs are on their team. If there is one person you should attend a “motivation” seminar, it’s Brian Burke. He’ll be directly honest and to the point and shows his emotions. Here are some clips of Brian Burke in action:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kzgalcl3tD8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDkvuuBtf8M&feature=related
Also, he does have an endearing and tragic story with his son, Brendan. Google that story.
Wait, is that story going to depress me? Because I’m already depressed with all this Koran-burning talk. The world is falling apart.
Perfect!
I am going to play devil’s advocate. I do believe many of the players in sport work very hard, harder than the average worker to get where they are at. For every Terrell Owens there is a Peyton Manning. There are many stories regarding the numbers of hours NFL coaches work, and I know many VP’s and CEO’s who would cringe at even the thought of working those amount of hours. There is no work-life balance in sports, there is the sport, and then there is the rest of your life.
I read some comment above about sports being immoral. I don’t think sport lacks morality anymore than business. I am sure there are just as many VP and C level people getting busted while snorting coke off of a hooker in the back of a Lincoln Navigator with carrying a loaded 44, just nobody cares. Maybe because we expect our business leaders to be immoral, but we hope our sports stars can be role models.
Also, I would ask aren’t there are just as many rich overpaid assholes in business/politics….any exec at AIG, BP, etc..etc..Carly Fiorina, the list goes on and on. Do none of these business/political asses do motivation speaking? What do you suppose Sarah Palin is going to do once her “political” career fizzles?
I think motivational speaking is a crock of shit in general. People are too lazy to motivate themselves, so they pay someone a boatload of money to tell some stories and “transfer” motivation to them. It is almost as big of a scam as religion, but I won’t go there.
How about we get off our collective fat asses and motivate ourselves?
I like this. How about we get off our collective fat asses and motivate ourselves? Except I want to keep my fat ass.
Sorry for the double post…had some browser issues.
Mick,
AGREED. I especially like this part, “People are too lazy to motivate themselves, so they pay someone a boatload of money to tell some stories and “transfer” motivation to them. It is almost as big of a scam as religion, but I won’t go there.”
Oh you went there. And I approve.
Imma fix it. No probs.
The person who wrote that is an a$$. The sad part is, its true for a lot of people.
Thank you for sharing that – I feel so much better.
Thanks.
These peeps are entertainers. They make the attendees feel good during the show and for being associated with the brand. It’s marketing, not leadership. The conference committee could have picked Coldplay just as easily for their $50k.
I missed this post at the time, but I think it is fantastic. I love your example of the NASCAR sign/family money issue at the end. How pathetic. Also, if someone is going to try to motivate me via sign, it better be less ugly than that and not have random capitalization for emphasis.